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"A dead atheist is someone who is all dressed up with no place to go."
James Duffecy

Ah, I love email. I just get so darn excited when my email program chimes at me. Everyday I get hundreds of emails from people around the world, and let me say this. I'm scared. Real scared. Below are just a few examples of the kind of email I get. Every email is printed exactly as I got it, including all misspellings and insane ravings.

DLO for the week of February 4, 2001

Crazy Choir Member writes...

Did you know that predicting things such as death is satanic? I suggest you close this website. If you are satanic-listen to this. satan just wants more people to go to hell to prove to God that he's the better one. It's all a trap. Why do you think if you beleive in satan you'll be in the most pain FOR ALL ETERNETY? satan HATES everybody. Like I said, IT'S ALL A TRAP

another entry...

why do you go against God like you are higher than him.. I hate to tell you but you are not. no one is... Only he knows and can decide when we die. He has been here a hell of a lot longer than you and he runs this world. It is him to say when we die.

another entry...

What do you think you are doing making my job complicated. You are telling people when they are supposed to die. It is my job to decide when people die. So stop predicting the incorrect.

Little Timothy from Tennessee writes...

Abourt three months ago, i was diagnosed with terminal cancer. They said i had about 6 weeks to live. A few days later i was browsing the web when i found the heart of my current inspiration. It is you. I was curios, put in by birth date to check up on the doctors. THEY WERE WRONG!!!! I am so happy. You and this company should be commending by the medical association. I know look forward to 34715378 more seconds of life....well now its 34715370......thank you again.

    The Death Clock replies...

    Praise the Lord, the DC has saved another soul. Now maybe that short sighted medical board will give me back my medical license!

Delirious Danielle from Michigan writes...

I hope to die fastly.I would rather die fast than slow and painfully. I wish to see all my peaple and meet new ones. I hope to go to heaven and stay away from hellions, whether I fight Satin or any other bad sole, i'll be on the good side in heaven.

    The Death Clock replies...

    I've heard bad things about Satin, especially the upkeep. Also, the DC hates anything you have to hand wash.

The (First) Mac Evangelist writes...

Macsare ten zillion times better than windows will ever be and yes i can use your stupid screen saver because i have a mac and macs can run anything (unlike windows) i mean everyone knows it and the only reason their are people saying that windows is better is because they are in denial and second of all the reason more people buy windows is because their less expensive but hey you pay for what you if you will take notice to the fact that there would never be a windows today if there wasn't a mac first because mac had the first interface or desktop and then people making dos just copied. Now i demand that the thing about macs not being around forever be removed from you mortuary page and anything else hateful towards macs on your page(besides what has a mac ever done to you)besides help your life by makeing movie special effects and alot of the best games out there. Thank YOU

    The Death Clock replies...

    Ok, I have removed any mention of the Mac being on the verge of death from my web site. Instead, I now just say that Macs suck. Better?

Mr. "Darwin Was Right" from AOL writes...

to prove your theory wrong, i am going to kill myself right now. good riddance.

    The Death Clock replies...

    God I love natural selection!

DLO Archives

Week of May 11, 2003
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