Death Clock: The Internet's friendly reminder that life is slipping away...

The Death ClockobituaryYour WillMortuaryDead Letter OfficeTestamentYour Prayer
Random Quote
"A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist."
Steward Alsop

As I get numerous emails every day and most ask the same questions, I have set up this page to help you find those answers yourself. If something here doesn't make sense, read it again. Outside of that, enjoy the following tidbits of information.


Why won't it work??

This is, without a doubt, the most frequently asked question I receive. The Death Clock requires a JavaScript capable browser, such as Netscape 2.02 (or better) or Internet Explorer 3.0. While I am not perfect, the Death Clock has been heavily tested and is virtually bug free. But if you do not have a JavaScript capable browser, please do not email me saying it doesn't work.

Secondly, even if you have a JavaScript capable browser, you must have JavaScript turned on. By default, this is turned on. But if you are visiting the Death Clock behind a company firewall, your IS department may have turned off JavaScript for security reasons. (I don't know why they would do that, its not like IE and NS are full of security holes. ;) If that is the case for you, there is nothing I can do, sorry.

But what if it still doesn't work? If it doesn't work, don't send me email saying "It ain't working." Send me information about what browser you are using, what version, and what platform (win/mac) you use. Also, try to be pretty explicit about the bug.

How does the Death Clock figure its numbers?

The Death Clock uses a very simple way of figuring out how many seconds you have left to live. First it figures out how old you are, then it takes that number and subtracts it from an average life span (one for men, one for women). It takes that number and then converts it into seconds.

Why don't you ask about habits or family history?

I do not go into details because I wanted the Death Clock to be simple. You can find plenty of life insurance web sites that go deep into this kind of detail, but I wanted the Death Clock to be simple and fun. If you smoke, just take off a few million seconds.

Please do not send me email telling me how unscientific this site is. No kidding. This is not supposed to be a life insurance site or census bureau outfit. This is a game, folks. Nothing more, nothing less.

Can I put the Death Clock on my homepage?

No. No. No. And for those who are a bit slow... no. About once a month I end up finding ten or so people who do not understand the meaning of copyright. While I understand that people make mistakes, it seems odd that someone can somehow miss the warning I put in the code. For a while the average net surfer had an above average intelligence, unfortunately those days are over. No one has permission to use/modify/copy/whatever the code, period. If you still don't understand that, I have a nice lawyer you can talk to. I'm all for open source and stuff like that, but sometimes you have to make money. The Death Clock makes money and helps ensure I don't run out of Pepsi One and video games.

If you want to make a link to the Death Clock, please, do so. I do not believe it is legal for a site to stop people from linking to them, despite the lawsuit Ticketmaster brought against Microsoft. If you want a graphical link to the Death Clock, feel free to use this button if you wish:

button

Are you a Satanist?

No, but I use many Microsoft products so I will probably be going to Hell anyway. (Hey, do you bother reading those license agreements? I sure didn't.) I believe in God, very strongly, but I don't believe that talking about Death would offend the big cheese. Does the Death Clock offend some fundamentalists out there? Sure, but these are the same people who get offended at the Teletubbies, rap music, and independent thought. By the way, I'm also Pro-Life.




Copyright © 2005 The Death Clock. All rights reserved.