Death Clock: The Internet's friendly reminder that life is slipping away...

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'"I want to be cremated so people won't come to worship at my bones."'
Albert Einstein

Ah, I love email. I just get so darn excited when my email program chimes at me. Everyday I get hundreds of emails from people around the world, and let me say this. I'm scared. Real scared. Below are just a few examples of the kind of email I get. Every email is printed exactly as I got it, including all misspellings and insane ravings.

DLO for the week of February 11, 2001

Crazy Choir Member writes...

I don't want to die before my boyfriend does. I hope that your Death Clock is seriously wrong.  Only God knows when I am going to die.  Don't try to play his part.  You'll lose.

another entry...

The idea is very interesting, but Pricees Diana is dead now. How could you explain? Fortunately, only GOD can know our Death Clock.

another entry...

the thing you are making is all over is very unuseful. i advice you to remove this site .only god know when people will die.....

Fundy Fred from the Big Midwest writes...

You really need to go to church on sunday, joe. Man, when will you ever realize what you are doing and say hey I could die and all of this stuff could be true. I don't know your situation if maybe you were beaten or molested but only one person can help and that is Jesus Christ.

    The Death Clock replies...

    Nope, I don't remember any beatings, hoewever, I was forced to watch 89 consectutive hours of the 700 Club ... could that have done it?

Really Lost from Wisconsin writes...

This is really cool.  Is it going to come true?

    The Death Clock replies...


Ms. Hopeless from Arkansas writes...

How are you able to tell when someone is going to die just by their birthday and sex?  I did my grandpa's and it said he was going to die on March 25, 1998.  He's been dead for a good nine or ten years.  ???

    The Death Clock replies...

    Well, even Death makes mistakes sometimes. I have sent out a crew of our best grave rob... err, repo-men to dig up Gramps and deliver him to your front door. Enjoy the extra 5 months you have with Gramps, and excuse him if he's a bit stiff.

DLO Archives

Week of May 11, 2003
Week of August 18, 2002
Week of August 11, 2002
Week of December 16, 2001
Week of September 30, 2001
Week of August 12, 2001
Week of July 1, 2001
Week of May 27, 2001
Week of May 13, 2001
Week of April 29, 2001
Week of April 8, 2001
Week of April 1, 2001
Week of March 25, 2001
Week of March 18, 2001
Week of March 11, 2001
Week of March 4, 2001
Week of February 25, 2001
Week of February 18, 2001
Week of February 11, 2001
Week of February 4, 2001
Week of January 28, 2001

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